How I Changed the World and You Can Too – No Superpowers Needed

She's Got Superpowers!

She’s Got Superpowers!

Who has not thought about it at least once or twice? Changing the world, making the world a better place; it’s a desire that has existed probably from the first day after that really unfortunate fruit incident in the paradise garden. I have certainly thought about it and wished that I could change the world. And the wish is exactly where the desire stops for most people. Why?

The longing to make a substantial positive contribution to our world is one that burns in us and for the overwhelming majority remains a lifelong pang in our hearts. So why then don’t we do something about it? What keeps us from changing the world? Yes, you guessed it – I have figured it out- and no superpowers are needed! (Ok, I am reasonably sure that I am not the first one to figure this out, but that is another story.)

In one of the most recent of my numerous self-studies, which I refer to as “days of my life”, I had an epiphany that I want to share. About two weeks ago, as I was closing out my morning devotion, I prayed that I would have the opportunity to change the world. Literally, those were my words. With that done, unsure of what grand opportunities would arise, I carried on with the rest of my day and went out to get the mail from my postbox.
Among the letters was an envelope addressed to a completely different person on a completely different street with a name that was barely legible and completely unfamiliar to me. The zip code was the same as ours. The envelope was hand addressed with the cracked, jagged penmanship that often comes with very old age. Judging from the sender’s old German name, I was quite sure that she must be from a few generations past. At first I was annoyed with the careless postman, who had committed the oversight. I planned to drop the letter into one of the public postboxes from which it would be returned to the sender, presumably an elderly woman named Adelheid. For some reason, I began to think about the letter and suddenly Adelheid was a grandmother who had taken great care and effort to select beautiful stationary, write a birthday letter, slowly walk to the nearest post office and send it off, hopeful that it would arrive in time for the special occasion. I looked up the address that I could decipher from the envelope, typed it into my navigation system and drove to that location to find the addressee’s name on the doorplate. I rang the bell and left the letter on the doorstep. Every act of kindness makes the world a little kinder. No superpowers needed.

Later on the same day, I headed out the door to an appointment to meet a potential new client. Before I got in my car, I noticed a woman with a white guiding cane. She had been standing at the intersection signal light down the street for some time and attempted several times to step onto the street. She shrank back each time, aware of the oncoming cars. Despite the light’s acoustic signal the blind woman seemed unable to decipher when it was safe to walk onto the street.

There were people waiting for the bus just a few meters away from the blind woman. Why did no one move to help the blind woman cross the street?! Since my appointment was only a few miles away, I had not planned much extra time and needed to be on my way to arrive on time. As I jogged down the street in my high-heeled pumps, which were designed for some purpose other than walking and definitely not running, again, I was slightly annoyed. I hastily crossed the street and asked the woman to allow me to guide her across the street. She agreed and sighed in relief. When we had arrived on the other side, the woman thanked me and said, “I have no idea what happened. I usually don’t have any problems, but today, something was different. I am so glad you were there to help me.” Yes, so was I. Every act of love makes you and the world more lovable. Again, no superpowers needed here.

When I asked for an opportunity to change the world I was thinking on a grander scale, the kind that might require superpowers, and that ego trip is exactly what keeps me and so many people from being the change they want to see in the world. That was my epiphany! Helping and being of service to others are core values for me and I have always been involved in philanthropic work. In fact, a few weeks ago I was again recognized by the city for my community contributions in one of the Berlin’s urban hotspots and yet, on this particular day through Adelheid’s letter and the blind lady, I became keenly aware that there are so many more unspectacular yet meaningful opportunities to make a difference in the world today and every day. Maybe you are thinking, “Hey lady, dropping off a misdirected letter and helping someone cross the street is NOT changing the world.” Maybe you are right, but I have a feeling that Adelheid and the blind lady would agree with me.

Seriously, if you have the opportunity to free a country from oppression, to save 100,000 lives with one heroic deed, end world hunger, cure cancer, create an empire that provides thousands of joy or open a school where thousands of poverty-stricken blind children can get a free education, by all means seize it. Make it happen! I am just saying, while you are waiting for your big coup, don’t overlook the opportunities to change the world in your own zip code, one small gesture at a time.

Advertisements
Posted in Insights | 12 Comments

You Take Care of Business – Remember Your Other Relationships Too

I recently conducted a two-question survey to find out what my readers would like for me to write about in my “Fantastic Friday” posts on my Facebook page. This was great because the purpose behind my Facebook page, as well as this blog, is to connect and serve you. If you participated in that poll, thank you!

In response to my survey, one of my readers,  a busy, successful entrepreneur, married to another busy, successful business man, asked, “How does a couple reconnect when they both come home on a Friday night with their heads stuck in their individual business worlds?” She made a specific request for tips on speeding up that sometimes awkward transition process from being in work-mode to  unwinding back into a couple and family.  This is a great question and a topic I am happy to address.Fantastic Friday: Relationships

Successful people know how important it is to make time and space to tend and nurture good business relationships, so they make it a priority and do it on a regular basis. This is the same principle that helps every relationship to grow and thrive, so apply it at home as well!

It is unlikely that you would burst into your work office and immediately spend the next 45 minutes raving or ranting non-stop about all that went on with your spouse, your children and your family pets. And yet, how often have you come home from work or out of your home-office only to greet your partner  (or be greeted) with a recount of your business day or perhaps the whole week, in what feels like real-time? No matter how awesome or how awful your work week was, trust that your significant other, not to mention your children, your cat or your dog, are not really up for reliving it all again.  They want to have you, your focused attention, your complete presence in the moment with them. You know, just the way that you ask them to  understand that when you zone-in and focus on important work, you need time for just that.

Of course, it is important to share about your work so that your family knows that by supporting you, they have a role in your success and in your life’s journey. After all,  can a truly successful life be built on one-sided business success?

Ok, so let’s cut to the chase and to the tips for making the weekend transition from work-mode to engaged partner, parent and/or family member.

1) COMMUNICATE: Communicate your desire for full presentce and engagement with your family. Letting them know that this is important to you, strengthens your commitment to make it happen and encourages their support and participation.

2) DESIGNATE: Allow a specified amount of time for sharing about your work week and agree that after that time has ended, work-related things go into week-end hibernation. Try envisioning that you have a specific space for this. (Yes, I am telling you to put any work-related thoughts into an imaginary box, bag or on a shelf.)

3)PLAN: Yes, really, have a plan! For some reason, I have seen it happen time and again, that some of the most plan-oriented, project-minded, strategically prepared business people, somehow forget that these same wonderful skills can also serve you wonderfully outside of work.  For most people, Friday and weekends follow and incredibly predictable pattern, so use that knowledge and plan ahead. The next Friday, is almost certain to follow.  Get everyone involved. Ask your partner and other family members, what they would specifically like to do on Fridays. Be creative in the decision making process: draw ideas from a bowl, roll dice to determine who gets to decide this Friday, play Tic Tac Toe or simply go in roll call order.

4) RITUALIZE: Create a special Friday ritual.  Even the best ideas and plans are not viable if there is no space or time reserved for them to happen. A ritual is simply  another kind of plan that you will follow every Friday. Create a ritual, write it out, hang it on the fridge or send to each family members i-devices.  It might look like this:

Our Family Friday Kickoff (beginning at 6:00 p.m. every Friday)

  • Meet around the coffee table for a cocktail or milkshakes. (You may decide to designate a rotating Friday drink master or “host/hostess”, who prepares the drinks and has things ready & waiting or just make as you go. Do what suits your lifestyle.)
  • Share the weeks “Highs & Lows” (Depending on the size of your family try 5 to 10  minutes each. Be sure that each person ends on a high or something for which she is particularly grateful.  A great way to get into the weekend mindset is to have each person say what this time together as a couple/ family means to them. At the end of the round each person puts the work/school week “away” until Monday or some other agreed upon time.)
  • Follow the plan ! (Enjoy dinner at home and a rental movie, board game night, going out to dinner, mini-golf, whatever.)

5)  PRACTICE: Keep at it!  Now that you have committed yourself to really being present and engaged so that you can tend and nurture your personal relationships, really allow yourself to enjoy these precious hours. After a few Fridays,  the transition will be so fluid and effortless, you are likely to exit work mode, before you even close your office door.

So these are my tips for getting out of the work-week mindset quickly while simultaneously tending and nurturing your relationships. How did I do on my first 100% reader-requested post?

By the way, if you have not participated in my poll and you have a topic you would like for me to explore, go ahead and answer this question from that survey:

Or you may leave a comment here on this page or if you like, visit me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/denise.banksgrasedyck Either way, ask for what you need and you will probably get it!

Posted in Better Relationships, Communication, Work, Life and Balance | 14 Comments

How Can I Serve You Better? A Two-Question Survey

“Curiosity  is one of the forms of feminine bravery.” Victor  Hugo

I’m really curious to find out, how can I help you more and serve you better?

I just have to know!

I just have to know!

One of the main reasons I decided to make coaching my full-time occupation, was because helping people is an integral passion for me. Coaching allows me to use many of my gifts to help people recognize their potential, utilize their own passions and realize their unique purpose. I am always on the look-out for new and better ways to help and support my clients and the people around me.  One of the best ways I’ve found to do this is to ask and to listen and now I am asking for your help, too.
By answering the following two questions, you will help me to give you the inspiration and the motivational and practical support that will empower you to be your authentic best every day.

I’m really curious to hear what you have to say, so go ahead, tell me right away. Thank you.

If you are curious about my Facebook page, please visit https://www.facebook.com/denise.banksgrasedyck . I hope you “like” it!

Oh, and just in case no one has told you today, YOU are awesome!

Posted in Your Opinion Matters | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

Full-Stop Ahead: When Vacation Becomes a Pre-Cursor to Burn Out – 6 Red Flags

“It is not more vacation we need – it is more vocation” – Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Full-Stop Ahead:  When Vacation Becomes a Pre-Cursor to Burn Out

A few weeks ago, my family and I spontaneously decided to take a mini-vacation to the Baltic Sea.  We spent time just enjoying being together, laughing, eating and walking through the crisp Autumn air with our dog, Elly. It was a time of fun, joy and of regeneration the stuff of which most vacations are made.

Since then I have been thinking about a growing misconception around vacations and other blocks of extended “down-time”. The idea that vacation time is a substitute for regularly planning times for regeneration into your day and your life is one that can start a dangerous cycle of working to the point of complete exhaustion followed by a period of complete withdrawal from “normal” life.  In this context, vacation, long-weekends and sabbatical are increasingly becoming  ways of coping with stress and overload when life has gotten far off kilter. This is when taking a break from work becomes just another pit-stop on the way to a complete breakdown known as burn out. For an idea of what happens, imagine yourself putting a tight bandage on a broken leg, taking a pain-killer and then getting right back in the paraglider. For a while the support from the bandage and the medication may allow you to feel better and carry on almost as usual, but the break certainly won’t heal properly.  And woe to you, when you stop the pain medication and the bandage comes off!  For your broken leg to heal properly, you will need to take proper care of it and until it heals, stop jumping out of the paraglider!  Of course, if possible, it is much better to avoid the break at all, wear the proper safety equipment and most importantly learn the skills for gliding and for landing especially in case of turbulence or unexpected obstacles at the planned landing point.

Let’s transfer this broken leg scenario to the broken mental, emotional and eventually also physical state that accompany burnout. While you don’t need a full-body cast; you do need overall support. What you  really needed are some strong functioning personal boundaries, the ability to communicate clearly and with intention, better self-care practices and a clear align of personal values, goals and the actions you take. You need someone who can provide you with empathetic, non-judgmental and no-excuses support (hint: not someone who is attached to the outcome, i.e. your spouse,  best friends, boss or your mother!)  And for goodness’ sake, stop jumping out of the paraglider! Identify the highest stress factors and take immediate action to remove them from your life – today.

DSCN1789

When you are in way over your head, you may need more than a vacation.

Recognize when you need more than “a break” –  6 red flags that warn of burn out danger

While the likelihood of suffering burn out is impacted by a number of factors including personal resilience, there are some conditions which increase the overall risk.  Here are some signs that your vacation just may be a pit-stop on the way to burn out:

  1. You consistently work more than 40 hours a week at a job that you hate. Even when you love what you do there can be challenging times, when you hate your job the same challenges can seem impossible to overcome. If this is you, the flag is RED!
  2. You love your job and consistently work more than 70 hours a week without scheduling and taking at least one day to rest. Even when you love your work, performing at 110%  and being there for everyone else,  if you rarely practice good self-care, the flag is RED!
  3. The reason you hate your job is:
    1. No one shows appreciation for the work that you do
    2. You earn less than everyone else doing the same job with a similar role
    3. The work you do is meaningless to you and you don’t really see how it actually serves anyone. The reasons for disengagement vary, but these three are some of the most common factors among people who have experienced burn.out, so if this is you, the flag is RED!
    4. You get sick almost every time you go on vacation. Count on it, a cold, the flu, migraines, backache or some rare form of a malaria-like condition not transmitted by any known insect, no illness is too obscure to befall you on at least the first two days of your vacation. When your body is constantly in stress-mode, adrenaline and other natural stress substances can mask and suppress your body’s natural defenses and the moment you relax and  “let yourself go”, the monsters at bay pounce upon you. If this is you, the flag is RED!
    5. You increasingly indulge in compulsive and or addictive behavior such as increased or excessive alcohol consumption, increased participation in high—risk sports, excessive or compulsive eating/bingeing and experience feelings of profound helplessness or hopelessness, as well as bouts of crying and withdrawal from your environment. If this is you, the flag is RED!
    6. You often become sad, depressed and or aggressive just before the vacation ends and you have to return to work. Everyone has had a moment when they’d rather stay on vacation forever or at least another week, because, well the Seychelles islands are just better than most office complexes, however if you consistently spend the last vacation day literally  crying over your glass of Chardonnay before moving on to Vodka & Orange (in bulk) , the flag is RED!

These are only a few select warning signs that you may be at risk for burn out and if any of these red flags are coming up for you, it is certainly worth looking into and exploring what is really happening at a deeper level.  Sometimes just a few simple changes in your work day, your work environment or a new way of reframing what your work means in the larger context of your life, can make all the difference between suffering, surviving and thriving.

If two are more of these signals are showing up in your life, stop what you are doing now and before you contact your travel agent, give me call! In a free consultation, you’ll find out how coaching with me can help you prevent burn out, bounce back after burn out therapy or simply create and maintain your ideal life, a life  that reflects  your core values,  your highest goals and your personal definition of success.

You can start living that ideal life today. Contact me and let’s Make it Happen!

Contact Coach Denise Banks-Grasedyck

Posted in Burnout Prevention, Quotes, Success Tips, Work, Life and Balance | Tagged , , , , , | 14 Comments

You Have a Choice – A Real Life Story with a Happy Ending

It’s your life. You can choose how you live it!

On a typical Monday morning Jess* was getting ready to go to her ultra-stylish office in the law practice, where she had advanced at a break-neck pace, and become a very young senior associate.Jess stood ironing one of her two dozen white blouses while tears trickled down her face. It was a scene that had repeated itself over and again for the past 40 Mondays or so and one that had become almost unbearable as it was familiar.  By now Jess had finished ironing and was sobbing. It was the kind of head bobbing, shoulders heaving, soul wrenching sobbing that you see in big screen dramas. This drama had become part of Jess’s real world.  When her boyfriend, Eric*, walked in, Jess knew he would try to comfort her, as usual and she would get through Monday and for another week, she would function like a well-oiled machine. But today would be different.

Instead of comforting Jess according to the well-versed routine, Eric literally blew his top; a rare thing for this laid-back guy! He slammed his hand against the door frame, “Enough of this, Jess! I won’t watch this anymore. Why do you keep doing this to yourself?  If you are so unhappy, stop working for that firm! You’re intelligent, your young, you have a top education. For goodness sake, you have a choice!”  The sheer force and heat of Eric’s words dried Jess’s tears instantly.  How could she have missed that? She had a choice.

Eric’s words, “You have a choice”, still echoed in her head. It was true. She did not have to be miserable for another 40 Mondays or even another 40 days. She could choose to stop pretending that she was someone she had not been since she finished law school, accepted what seemed like an amazing  offer and almost immediately realized that the high-paced, high-stress, high-conformity, sell-your-soul environment was someone else’s dream.  Although she recognized very early on that her career choice collided with her core values and her idea of an ideal life, Jess did not feel she had a choice about her next career move. Wasn’t it too late? Wouldn’t leaving make her a quitter and a loser? What about all the time, energy and money that she had invested in the best university and a top-notch law school? What would her friends and family say about her walking away from a rock star career and a position and lifestyle other people envied? In fact, everyone seemed to love Jess’s life – except Jess.

“I won’t tell you that the world matters nothing, or the world’s voice, or the voice of society. They matter a good deal. They matter far too much. But there are moments when one has to choose between living one’s own life, fully, entirely, completely—or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands. You have that moment now. Choose!” 
―    Oscar Wilde

That day, Jess decided that she really did have a choice. She chose to take responsibility for herself, to slam the brakes and get off the expressway to burnout. Over the next few nights that followed her big “Aha!”, Jess carefully defined her exit strategy, she chose to give up her life as an imposter law firm clone, to pursue a career and a life in which she could use her brilliant mind and still express herself freely and authentically.  She knew she wanted more than a hot career; she wanted a hot career and a life that fully reflected her personal values. –  The Happy End

The Happy New Beginning – Today, Jess works with others who are now struggling with the issues that once brought her to tears every Monday. She is an absolute rock star!  Oh, and she no longer owns any white blouses, although she still likes to iron clothes because she finds it “meditative.”

Does any of this resonate with you? Are you “functioning and performing well” without really living? Do you feel there is something else, something more out there for you?  Are you worried that you might be headed for burn out? You can take responsibility for your life and change what has not worked for you so far. You have a choice; in fact you have several choices.  You can do what you love and be happy. You can learn to love what you do and be happy. You can leave what you can’t learn to love and be happy. You can choose. And I can help you get from where you are now, to where you want to be.

Contact me today to schedule your complimentary consultation:
http://www.banks-grasedyck.com/make-it-happen.html

Posted in Authenticity, Burnout Prevention, Out of the Comfort Zone, Work, Life and Balance | Tagged , , , , | 18 Comments

Comedians, Careers and the Bermuda Triangle of Life

Chris Rock, Comedian“Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves  for the rest of their career.”  – Chris Rock

If you pay attention you will notice that the best comedians are those who present to us real life with a twist. Think about your favorite comedian or even just a friend who always has everyone in tears because they’ve laughed so much. What is usually the focus of their humour? Life. Your life. My life. Their own lives. Life in general. Comedians take the things that delight us, annoy us, anger us and even the things that frighten us and weave them into a twisted, lighter version of reality that if done properly, leaves us laughing at the situation and at ourselves.

With that said, a quote from one of my favorite comedians and actors, Chris Rock, made me think about how so many people approach their careers and their lives. He said, “Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves  for the rest of their career.”  A quick mental review of some of my favorite comedians and their careers over time, confirmed that statement for me.  Just to given on example, the late Richard Pryor was and will forever be known for his translations of racial and political issues into hilarious and profanity-infused performances.  And among today’s comedians and comedic actors, it seems that those most sought after are indeed living in their comfort zone and raking in the bucks. Honestly, I don’t think I can bear to see Ben Stiller in another movie as the underdog son-in-law, underdog security guard, underdog underdog … you get the idea.

Ok, it does seem that this is a matter of defining a niche, so these comedians are known for a certain type of humour and its delivery, and this becomes their comfort zone on stage, which is great for their bank accounts and careers, at least for a while. And, yes, it is wonderful to find that place where everything comes easily to you, the point at which you exhale and float for while. But  the thing to remember is that your comfort zone is designed to function as a transit area, you can’t you grow if you only stay with what you know!  Trust me on this one, I tried it for years.  You simply can’t shine your brightest and you  run the risk of burning out on the inside, if you don’t embrace and express your whole magnificent, authentic self.

If you don’t regard your comfort zone as a transit area, the place to get on the next platform for growth, it becomes the Bermuda triangle of life! If you stay there, your dreams,  your talent, your opportunities and years of your life can get sucked in and disappear. More than that YOU disappear, because when you refuse to be who you are  meant , instead of some lame version of yourself, you diminish and atrophy. At some point you find yourself saying, “What happened? I wanted to do this,  experience that. Now the time is gone and I am not who I want to be.” Curtain call.

As any good comedian would tell you, you don’t stop pulling punches until the curtain falls, so right now is still an excellent time to drop the lame act and turn the spotlight on who you really are. Don’t worry about the audience, life isn’t meant to be a spectator event – and don’t we all love happy endings?

If you are ready to be who you are meant to be and live your ideal life, I’d love to help.    I’ll help you align your personal and professional goals to your core values.  I’ll help you avoid burn-out and bounce back from burnout.  I’ll help you define, design and realize the life you want. The result is better health, better relationships and your ideal life with passion, purpose and success however you define it, in as little as 12 weeks,

Posted in Authenticity, Burnout Prevention, Out of the Comfort Zone, Work, Life and Balance | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

Go from Moan-day to Magic Mondays! Develop a ritual to get out of overwhelm

Ok, imagine it’s Monday again. Are you “A” – excited to greet Magic Monday and all its possibilities and opportunities? Or would you honestly prefer “B” – whatever it may be?

Get Out of Overwhelm

If most Mondays roll around and the Sunday night blues still have a hold on you like a bad spell or if they never really let you go until the next Friday rolls around, you are not alone. When we consider the millions of people who complain, express dislike, disdain and even harbor outright malicious feelings toward the first day of the work week, it would be more appropriate to rename it “Moan-day.”

The list of reasons people give for loathing Mondays is long and varied. One reason for hating Mondays that I often hear is that people feel overwhelmed. Since the week is just starting, from where does the overwhelm come? It comes partially from carrying the previous week with all its concerns, challenges and unresolved issues into the new week. Learn to let go of the past week before the new week starts. One way to do this is to establish a routine for closing out your week before you start your weekend. The routine has to include a process for handling unfinished business from a fresh perspective. Here is an example of a routine and some extremely easy tips that have helped some of my clients get out of their mind traps, out of stress and overwhelm and into a more empowering way of starting a week with Magic Monday:

  1. Start closing out your current week at the close of business on Thursday. If you did not do this at the beginning of the week, you will need an overview of your tasks for the week.  To do this, create a paper list with two columns. On one side list everything that you would like to have completed in the current week.  From the list select a maximum of three top items that must be finished by the end of next day.  Repeat these items in the other column. The items in this column are your “top priority and urgent” list and the first items of business you will handle on Friday morning.
  2. Note: If you consistently have more than two items on your top priority and urgent list, examine your time management as well as your boundaries around taking on work on-demand. If you are constantly overwhelmed and continue to take on more work because you fear that your boss will be upset or disappointed in your performance, you are laying the basis for a self-fulfilling prophecy. Be realistic and clarify priorities in a conversation with your boss.
  3. Block out time in your calendar to handle your priorities first thing on Friday morning.  Make a commitment to yourself and to your peace of mind, that this time is non-negotiable.
  4. On Friday, work on your top priorities during your scheduled time and until you have completed the task. If you are not able to finish in a work day, again you will need to look at your work load, your planning and delegation skills and other factors that may be influencing your ability to complete your work. You may simply be setting unrealistic goals.
  5. At the end of your work day on Friday, return to your long list of what you had hoped to complete in the current week. Check off all that you have accomplished.
  6.  Everything that is not checked off gets marked with a star or highlighted with a marker. These are next week’s “opportunities and possibilities”, so write that heading across the page and place the list on a prominent place on your desk, where it will spend the weekend (not thinking about you.) Make a commitment to yourself that once the list has been laid in aside, you will no longer think about it or worry about the things not yet done. Imagine that these are opportunities waiting for the right time to be realized and this time will not be before the coming Monday.
  7. Since you are in the process of making the transition from Moan-day to Magic Monday, be creative in sparking some excitement about your “opportunities and possibilities”.Try putting the list in a large letter-sized envelope with a positive note to yourself, such as “It’s Monday! Today I make it happen!” or “I am so grateful for today’s opportunities and possibilities!” You may want to buy an expensive –looking letter sized and relatively flat box that you can place on your desk at the close of business every Friday. In addition to the list, put something in the box that makes you look forward to opening it; your favorite mints, a beautiful new pen, a specialty golf ball, a favorite photo, a short poem that inspires or motivates you or a gift certificate for a special treat that you will give yourself at the end of the day. You know what excites you – just make sure it fits in the box. Now go home and enjoy the weekend, so you can be refreshed, energized and more productive in the coming week.
  8. Whenever you find yourself thinking about what has to be at the office next week, remind yourself that those opportunities and possibilities are ripening and Monday is the perfect day to access them, learn those lessons and reap those benefits. Then bring your mind back to the here and now.
  9. Remember, just as you got into the habits that created Moan-day, you will need some time to feel comfortable with your new routine and the new habit of looking forward to the possibilities and opportunities of Magic Monday. Stick with it. You will become more productive at the office and more enjoyable to yourself and others when you are away from it.

How was your Monday? I’d love to know, so leave a comment.

Know someone who could use a little more magic in their Mondays?
Share this article!

Posted in Burnout Prevention, Insights, Success Tips, Work, Life and Balance | Tagged , , | 20 Comments

Got Happy? A super simple formula for an all-around awesome life!

How much would you pay to have a formula that when applied, virtually guarantees that you become happier and your life will be more fulfilling and more aligned with the difference you want to make in the world?

And what if you knew that this formula had the power to reduce stress, prevent burn-out, eliminate dissatisfaction and increase your energy and your overall joy on a daily basis?

I am just guessing that for most people, that formula would be worth a pretty penny. Well, today is your lucky day, because I am going to give that formula to you right now, at absolutely no charge.

Get ready.
Don’t blink.
Here it is:

Passion. Purpose. Service = A happy person, a fulfilling life and a powerful legacy.

Right about now, you are probably thinking, “Seriously?! It can’t be that simple.” Yes, it can. Studies have shown time and again, that people who have something that they are passionate about, who believe that they have a purpose and honor that in their lives are happier, more optimistic and more satisfied with their lives. Still other studies have shown that those who help others, those who are in service to the world around them, are also happier and more satisfied than those who are not.

Imagine what happens when you combine the noble pursuit of passion, purpose and service and allow them to become not what you do, but who you are. Great things happen, both in and around you. This is something that I am so grateful and privileged  to witness when working with most of my clients. Whether in their personal lives or their work settings, it is really awesome, downright magical, when they make that connection between their unleashed passion, a true sense of purpose and the embodiment of that in whatever way they are called to serve in the world. That is what I wish for you and I know it can happen for you as well.

So now that you know the formula, commit your passion to purpose and service so you too become a truly happy person, living a fulfilling life as you build a powerful legacy to the you, that you are designed to be.

Still not sure what the next step is? Post your question and I will respond on this forum or if you request it, I will respond with a private message.

Posted in A Different Perspective, Burnout Prevention, Work, Life and Balance | Tagged , , , , | 13 Comments

Burn-Out? Make it Magical Mondays instead!

After a great three-week vacation spent visiting family and friends in the U.S., today was my first day back at work – Magical Monday!

As a coach and veteran of the corporate workplace, I know very well that not everyone shares the idea that the beginning of the work week can be full of possibility and cause for happy anticipation. I often hear people complaining about Mondays, in fact, I used to be one of them. I also encounter many whose dissatisfaction with their work extends to cover every day of the week, as they struggle through their forty-plus work hours and live for the weekend.

Struggling through the work-week and living for the weekend can cost you a great deal, because you are living out of sync with your values and your purpose. I have linked here to a great article on burn-out, one of the many faces of persistent dissatisfaction and disconnect with the work you do: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/burnout/WL00062

I have heard (and on the path to the life I love, probably used) every argument about why it is so hard to make the choice that frees you to be who you were meant to be and live a life of purpose, passion and success on your own terms. Any argument you can come up with will have some merit, they are ALL valid to some degree. The most powerful argument against settling for anything less than your ideal life is that you were meant to be significant, you matter, you have a purpose and when you live your purpose another piece of the great design falls into place and only you can make that happen.

Perhaps you are thinking, “what does my purpose have to do with my job or my career? I can live my purpose on the weekend.” This is true and if you are happy with that, then you can reframe your Monday-morning mindset to support you and how you concentrate on fulfilling your purpose on the weekends. If you still find yourself dreading the start of every week and perhaps every single day, you are not being true and authentic to yourself and “how you do anything, is how you do everything”, so it is sure bet that your self-deception is not limited to your work-life. Take a closer look at your relationships, your health, and your finances; where else in your life are you settling for less than you really want?

Honestly, all I can say, is that limiting your “real life” and being your authentic best to a maximum of 48-hours on the weekend is no way to live and YOU HAVE A CHOICE. You can choose to love what you do or leave it and do what you love. You can choose to live the life of your dreams or simply bide your time, until your time is up. That really seems like a waste to me. Living a life of purpose and passion WITH purpose and passion, isn’t always easy, especially when you are just starting and trying it on, but it is so worth it! All you have to lose is the Monday-blues and what you have to gain is your awesome, would-not-trade-for anything ideal life! Imagine, from now on, it’s “Magical Mondays” for you. How fantastic would that be?!

http://www.banks-grasedyck.com

Posted in Authenticity, Insights, Success Tips, Work, Life and Balance | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

Success? Have it your way!

What does “SUCCESS” mean to you?
I love the concept of personal responsibility in our lives. I fully believe that each of us is responsible for what happens or more accurately, how we act and react to what happens in our lives. This also applies to defining what success means to us personally and how that success looks in our lives. This is a challenge that my clients, who are often very successful professionals, face. They wrestle with themselves over others’ definition of them as being successful or “having it all”. They sometimes feel guilty for feeling discontment. The fact that everyone in their environment tells them how successful they are, makes people doubt that they have a right to adapt their definition of success to be more aligned with who they truly are.

I often ask the question, “How does it serve you, if everyone loves your life, EXCEPT YOU?!”

It’s your life, your happiness, your success that are at stake and it is your responsibility (and your privilege) to define what that looks like in your life and to make it happen!

Posted in A Different Perspective, Success Tips | 4 Comments